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Thanks to rosehips!

Creamy! Plum-y! MAYBE brandy-y, but I don’t know, because I don’t drink brandy!

It is rich and melodic, like the singing of the performer Brandy! Does that count?

note before adding milk This is a really weird mix that works. It’s got that veggie/fruit/black tea base, with the creamy upper notes and aftertaste. With some flowers in the middle, just the tiniest bit. I’m not sure I’d have noticed this if I hadn’t seen the flowers in the mix.

note after adding vanilla almond milk Oh yes. Totally getting the cheesecake now. I’m not usually one of those people that involves milk in the process (I like my tea like I like my presidents) but wow. This rounds it out and brings out the sweetness. It also makes the floral notes stand out more. I think this time if you blindfolded me, I might have guessed that they were there.

I wonder how much plum is actually in this.

Is this going to have any effect on my digestive system? Because everything is fine right now, and I don’t want to disrupt it.

Too late to fret about that now. The science experiment has begun.

High-five to rosehips for the sample!

Let’s start with appearance: this is a pretty tea. It’s got little men/flowers and those shiny spheres that people sometimes put on cupcakes. It comes in golden/dark curls* that unfurl when you toss it in the water, which I like to watch.

*(Does the tea curl on its own, or is there some poor unfortunate soul in Asia somewhere curling it up? Please tell me it curls on its own.)

When the tea has finished steeping, the stars/men have dissolved, and the silver balls have mostly dissolved. I think the silver balls are all show and no go.

That said, this tea tastes like beer. It’s got a malty/stout thing going on. With cinnamon in it. I tried a chocolate dessert stout once that was a bit like this. And I liked it okay, but I’m more of a fruity witbier type of girl.

Same goes for this tea. It looked so cool that my hopes soared, but the flavor itself wasn’t the tops.

Big ups to Rosehips for sending this to me! I am so happy to have traded with you! (squeeze)

At first sniff, this is kind of… vegetal? I think that’s the carrot. It’s a spring soil kind of scent.

But then you get in there and… damn. She (I think Rosehips is female? — the real name is unisex) wasn’t moved by this, but I adore it. It’s a creamy, carrot-y, slightly coconut flavor. Kind of like a carrot cake with a few coconut sprinkles on top. I am totally getting it.

I think that the nut contributes to the cream flavor (?), but it might be superfluous. I don’t really pick up a lot of it on its own. I specifically made sure I had one of the blend’s nuts in this first scoop. NO MATTER.

There is still a slight grassy undertone to this, and I’m not quite sure where it’s coming from, but it’s not enough for me to dislike this blend. I’m totally on board here. I’m going to be a sad panda when the sample is gone.

(flips a table) How did I not know about cacao tea before? SERIOUSLY? This is so tasty. It’s like eating a candy bar. One of those Hersheys Cookies’n’Creme ones, specifically. And, according to Herbal Infusions’ site… it’s… caffeine free? I can have this at NIGHT?

I am holding every one of you personally responsible for not telling me about this sooner.

A tasty tea with a kickass name. STRAWBERRY. JUSTICE.

Movie proposal:

Strawberry Shortcake grows up and moves to some grungy post-apocalyptic city (Baltimore?). She sees tragedy befall the good people around her, and has to transform herself. She has to become something better. FOR THE GOOD OF THE WORLD.

So Strawberry Justice is born. She trades in her whisk for tranq darts and handcuffs. Her Mary Janes become combat boots. She blends into the shadows at night and runs a soup kitchen with delicious desserts during the day.

If they can make a Tetris movie, they can make this movie.

Oh, and the tea’s wonderful.

A tasty, nutty chai. The flavor’s not especially powerful, unlike the more in-your-face flavors of Dyad’s other work, but it’s still a great Monday morning power-through staple. Grit teeth. Chug tea. Design powerful things. Dominate the universe. I mean, uh, stay in line and obey all the rules.

This tea tastes just like a fruitier version of what one gets at Chinese food restaurants. It’s a good, fun combination, if a little lackluster. Plus, there’s a strong aftertaste that’s kind of… tart? Vegetal? What’s going on here?

I’m not besotted.

But — as today is going to be The Day I Mostly Wander Off To Give Other Thoughts — I tried the new Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos (purple bag), as well as the Southern Biscuits & Gravy Lays, and liked them both, even though I thought I wouldn’t. My coworker gave them both to me. (You might have noticed, via careful reading, that people are constantly handing me food. I am a human garbage disposal.) They sound hideous, but they’re each delicious in their own way. I also loved the brief-lived Reuben Sandwich chips.

I feel trashy adoring these lowbrow chips. But I am basically Oscar the Grouch, rubbish monster extraordinaire, and I should embrace it.

I’ve been having a great tea week!

A tiny part of me wishes I weren’t. I’m able to come up with MUCH FUNNIER stuff to say when reviews are dire. Alas, the stuff in my mouth tastes good, which doesn’t leave a lot of hilarity fodder.

So I’m going to tell you this is a tasty chocolate/vanilla blend with a bit flowers and coconut. If you like those things, you’ll probably like this thing. The only negative thing I can say is that it tastes a tiny bit artificial, but it’s so good overall, I’ll probably be buying more. So there’s that.

Miss my negativity? I do have a negative review about Wendy’s disruption of the Strawberry Fields salad. It was strawberries, chicken, bacon, onion, and bleu cheese crumbles gaily dancing upon greens.

It came every summer and left every fall like glorious clockwork. I spent all 9 cold months pining for it.

This year, they introduced a Summer Berry Chicken Salad instead. It’s not the same and it’s not as good.

It’s like walking into the school cafeteria on Taco Tuesday only to be handed some Sloppy Joe. What is this? Why are you deviating from schedule? I don’t want this. I want the other thing that should be happening right now. I mean, this is fine. It’s not poison; it’s just not what I want.

You want to reach across and bitch-slap the counter-lady, even though you know it’s not her fault. You want to tear off her hairnet, light it on fire, and go streaking through the woods with it aflame.

But you must stay calm and order something else.

Don’t let anyone see your lip quiver as you hold back tears.

A lovely blueberry-lemon tea!

I am imagining little sprites making this for themselves with wild ingredients from their meadow — and sipping it out of tiny teacups made from hollowed-out acorns.

Very cute and whimsical.

2 out of 2 for Dryad Teas today. This one tastes just like ice wine. (Which is, apparently, an ingredient). If you don’t know what ice wine is, you should look it up. It involves ripe frozen grapes to make a sweet wine. It costs more than my life.

Between ice wine being an ingredient and raisins also in there, you can really get that grape feeling without it feeling fake or plastic. There’s also a spiciness that I like. It feels like a rich glass of wine after a tiring day.